Web Accidental Wine

Sunday, May 07, 2006

May I Suggest...

Recently, I've run across some wines with, shall we say, interesting names.

Let's be clear; I'm not referring to wines purposely named in a naughty way. Not talking about Royal Bitch (a merlot from Chile), Fat Bastard (French) or even Menage a Trois (California). Not even The Full Monte(pulciano) or Cleavage Creek, let alone Toasted Head.

The wines I'm talking about are either unintentionally named so they're funny or the meanings are purposely hidden

Let's start with the unintentional:

2005 Longview Iron Knob Riesling

Iron Knob? Calling Dr. Freud. Dr. Freud, you're wanted in Australia. Calling Dr. Freud.

I'm sure this refers to some geographical feature in the area where the wine's made. There's a mountain in Kentucky called Pilot's Knob. Must be something like that.

Now on to the subtle:

2004 Weingut Geil Mettenheimer Michelsberg Gewuerztraminer Kabinett Rheinhessen

Yes, this 57 letter conglomeration is the name of one wine, but that's not why I've included it in this little piece. The producer of this wine is, like most German producers, a family operation. The word "Weingut" means winemaker, but that's not the funny part. The funny part is the family's name - Geil.

There's no way to explain why this is funny other than to be blunt. "Geil" in german slang means horny. If it were my wine, I'd put a devil on the label.

My poor friend Randy had similar troubles with this when we were traveling England 20 years ago. If you don't understand what I mean, ask a Brit.

Finally, the hidden:

2001 Chateau Potelle Cabernet Sauvignon VGS Mt. Veeder

We've all heard about the DeLoach Vineyard reserves they used to produce, the OFS (Our Finest Selection) series. While I've never had the opportunity to investigate the rumor that the real name for OFS was an acronym for "Outf*ckingstanding,"I know for a fact what VGS means.

VGS is an acronym for "very good sh*t." How do I know this? The winemaker of Chateau Potelle, a lovely French lady named Marketta Fourmeaux, personally told me so at a tasting. She said naming the line VGS was in service of demystifing wine. Damn straight!

This humorous trend isn't always limited to wine names. There are German vineyards named Sieben Jungfrauen (7 virgins) and Honigsaeckel (honey pot). And yes, that last one is an anatomical reference.

Think these are bad? Maybe someone will plant a vineyard in Big Bone Lick State Park, Kentucky.

Know any funny or risque wine names? Share, please.



Mark